in Art, Death

I Cheated On My Love For 15 Years, I Was Blind But Now I See

“like the parting of ways in human relationships, getting distracted and moving away from my love for art was gradual and almost invisible.” __Madhav SBSS

One beautiful evening in 1982, I broke my leg and found my love. I fell in love with art when I fractured my left leg while playing a stupid game in the middle of the street while a bicycle came rolling downhill and hit me, tangling my leg in the rear wheel. There couldn’t have been a better accident in my life than this, it gave me an opportunity to discover my love, Art.

I was on the bed, couldn’t walk and didn’t have TV, didn’t like Radio or Reading. The only thing that kept me active and excited was drawing. I drew many things, filling many sketchbooks for 3 months. To my utter dismay some of my uncles and aunts made fun of my drawings. It hurt that my own family ridiculed my art. Luckily, and I really don’t know why, I was obsessed and I kept drawing!

I won many accolades in town-wide inter-school, inter-collegiate competitions to intramural competitions. I have been drawing for over 3 decades now and I usually get lost in drawing once I start. Growing up I used to spend countless number of hours, many times 4 to 5 hours at a stretch without getting up from the chair, trying to perfect that one fine curve on the eye ball or that one tiny eye lash on the drawing I was doing of a beautiful lass!

Do you have this terrible nagging feeling in the back of your mind as you part ways with your love. Unfortunately, like the parting of ways in human relationships, getting distracted and moving away from my love for art was gradual and almost invisible. That’s the problem, just as in life. One small deviation here and another there repeated daily is all it takes to see ourselves miles away from the love of our lives.

After college, I started neglecting my love and only sat down to draw once in a while. Life, work and other interesting things caught me off guard and let me astray. I lost connection with my love. I feel that I’ve cheated on her for too long. I have had it, I can’t let life and work take my love away.

A few months ago, I decided to draw everyday. It may be a comic, it may be portrait or it may be just a few random scribbles, I want to win her heart back and I will do anything it takes. Many drawings came to me, some days are better than others. There have been days when I went back to my old habits. I know my love is not in my reach yet, I know it will take more effort and devotion from me. I know I have failed many times even after deciding to draw everyday.

I suck at keeping my promise to my love, there are days I hate myself for letting my love down. However, in the depths of my heart I do firmly believe that I will win her back, no matter what. My daily routine needs to be more consistent but I am getting better.

6×8 ft backdrop installation

So, here is the $priceless question? Are you cheating on your love? Do you have the guts to dare to win her heart back no matter what it takes. If you know that you are cheating on your love, you are 1/2 the way there. Sad part is, many of us are so caught up in the mechanics of daily living and our responsibilities that we don’t realize that we’re straying away from our love. One step a day away from her is all it takes and before you know it you are miles and miles away.

It takes time to take those steps back and retreat, it’s painful, it cannot happen overnight, don’t look for shortcuts, the only way to win her back is to do the work, make the sincere effort, be willing to put aside your distractions and start loving intensely, again.

It’s not easy but it’s possible to win your love back. Good luck, see you at the reunion celebrations!